


Heather (Song fic)

by Lets_be_nerds



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27222622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lets_be_nerds/pseuds/Lets_be_nerds
Summary: Heather song fic based around Duncan and Courtney from total drama. She knows that she loves him, but he is mesmerized by another.
Relationships: Courtney/Duncan (Total Drama)
Kudos: 19





	Heather (Song fic)

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to do a ‘Heather’ song fic so here it is! I guess you could says it’s total dramarama verse? But they’re all just in high school together. This is a lot sadder/angstier than I thought it would be, but I hope you like it! (Also posted on my tumblr @ Amazonswin

_**Me in your sweater** _

**_You said it looked better_ **

**_On me, than it did you_ **

Courtney didn’t usually like being outside in the middle of the night. There were too many bugs and too many things she couldn’t control. But somehow Duncan had convinced her to sneak out at 1am and drive to the most remote part of town. Out of all of his stupid spurr of the moment ideas, this was the only one she couldn’t seem to regret. Courtney wasn’t a calm person most of the time, there was too much she had to do. However, just the presence of Duncan melted that away, leaving her feeling absolutely perfect. 

For someone who built their reputation on being a bad boy, Duncan surprisingly knew a lot about the stars. Mainly, the best spots to sit and watch them. That was how Courtney found herself sitting upon the hood of his car on the edge of Arid cliff. There they sat pointing out various constellations, completely impervious to the outside world. 

Goosebumps prickled her skin as the night grew colder. As if on cue, Duncan took off his sweater and handed it to the brunette. It smelled exactly like he always had. Courtney quickly slipped it on, leaving the collar just above her chin. 

She smiled softly as she tucked her head on his shoulder. If anyone saw them, they’d be certain they were a couple. It was easy to get lost in each other, neither would have it any other way. Covered by a blanket of stars with the smell of the person she held closest to her, Courtney couldn’t help but to feel herself begin to drift off.

 **_On_ ** **_ly if you knew_ **

**_How much I liked you_ **

One thing was clear, Courtney was hopelessly in love with Duncan. However, she absolutely did not want to be. They were so different, he was too reckless. There was no way she could tell him. Why risk ruining everything? 

The first time she laid eyes on him, he had kicked over her block tower. The tower she had planned out so meticulously, the one she had spent an hour carefully placing every block upon. He apologised, but she didn’t buy it. Even at 4, she knew falsehood when she heard it. Then came that damn nickname. Every time she spoke her mind she was greeted with a smug smile and the word, “princess”. And yet, somewhere along the way they became inseparable.

When they were 12, Duncan snuck Courtney through his bedroom window because her parents had extended their business trip another week and she couldn’t sleep alone again. When they were 14, they stayed out all night after Duncan had yet another blow out with his father and needed to forget for a while. They were always together. He was her everything, her safety, her home.

 **_I_ ** **_watch your eyes_ **

**_As she Walks by_ **

Courtney knew she had to tell Duncan how she felt. Whether he liked her back or not, she couldn’t go on hiding it anymore. Her plan was perfect, she’d approach him before class and invite him over to her house later. This wouldn’t raise too many flags, as he’s usually there anyways. Once they were alone, she’d lay it all out, every response had already circled her head and she had a reaction planned for each. To seal the deal, Courtney decided to wear her favorite light pink sweater that fit just right. The one that was cut a little too low, that highlighted all the right curves, that Duncan had never been able to keep his eyes off of. 

His car was already in the lot as she pulled in. At the beginning of the year, Duncan had conned some Senior out of his spot so he could have the one right next to Courtney’s. It was their routine to bring each other coffee every morning, and today was Duncan’s turn. Courtney waited in her car for a few minutes, ensuring her makeup was to perfection. He didn’t show. As first period approached, she knew she couldn’t wait anymore. 

The lesson passed by like background noise, her mind constantly shifting to Duncan. As unreliable as he could be, he had never stood her up before. Even if he decided to play hookie, he had always texted her. He’d beg her to come with him and Courtney would always refuse, jokingly calling him a ‘ delinquent ’. But today there was nothing. 

She was at her locker when she saw him, but he didn’t seem to notice her. His eyes glued to another. Gwen joined Duncan at his locker, Courtney couldn’t hear them and couldn’t seem to look away. Gwen laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair, a telltale sign of his flirtatious attempt.

 **_Sh_ ** **_e’s got you_ **

**_Mesmerized_ **

**_While I die_ **

It had been a few weeks since Gwen and Duncan made it official. He had stopped hanging around as much as he used to. First it was slowly, their nightly get togethers consisted mainly of outgoing phone calls followed by complete silence. Courtney had never felt more alone.

Bridgette hated seeing her like this. Though it didn’t show, Courtney had always been one of the happiest people she knew. Bridgette couldn’t sit around and see her friend destroy herself. So, that was how Courtney ended up agreeing to an after school hang out.

She didn’t know it would be a group thing, or that it would include the two people she least wanted to see. When she reluctantly accepted Bridgette’s pizza invitation, she really hoped it’d just be the two of them. Yet here she sat in a booth, right across from her biggest regret. Courtney tried to focus on the slice in front of her, but her eyes felt desperately drawn to Duncan. Gwen sat snuggled up to him, nearly but not quite on his lap, his arm wrapped around her. Their constant laughter and little whispers scattered about. Duncan was completely mesmerized by Gwen, his gaze only set on her. 

It didn’t matter how much time they had spent together or what secrets they knew. Duncan had moved on, he wasn’t hers. Courtney wanted to vomit, to just stand and run. Her thoughts shouted at her to flee, but her legs didn’t budge. So there she sat, quietly dying.

 **_Wh_ ** **_y would you ever kiss me?_ **

**_I’m not even half, as pretty_ **

Courtney found herself entranced by the bathroom mirror, the fluorescent lights highlighting each and every blemish. She had spent the weekend alone again, with the sole intent of studying. People knew not to bother her when she got like this. Even if they had, she wouldn’t have noticed. 

To combat feelings of helplessness, she would push herself. Being in control meant never feeling so small, so worthless. Courtney had forced herself to focus on her studies completely. Law was her favorite, it was set in stone and nothing about it surprised her. So she pushed herself further, trying to learn, trying to forget. 

Tears began to stream down her face, her suppressed sobs making themselves known. Every past insecurity seemed to emerge all at once. She felt empty and forgotten. Her knuckles paled as she gripped the sink tighter. Duncan had never been hers. He had always been there, but he didn’t belong to her. For so long he had been her best friend, her constant, her everything. But now it was if she was nothing to him. How stupid could she be? Gwen had always been the obvious choice. She was exactly his type, they had everything in common. 

How could Courtney have been so oblivious to something so obvious? Why would Duncan ever have chosen her?

**_But how could I hate her?_**

**_She’s such an angel_ **

Courtney wanted to hate Gwen. She had every reason to. After all, Gwen was the reason she wasn’t with Duncan. Hating her was easy, Gwen had never been her friend anyway. Before Duncan, she wasn’t even in the same friend group. There simply wasn’t any reason she would ever have to talk to her.

That was until Mr. Parker insisted the two pair up for the most recent history report. Courtney offered to do it herself, after all she knew the material like the back of her hand. But Gwen had refused, which was how they found themselves directly across from each other at Courtney’s dining room table. 

Courtney had decided this would be strictly business oriented, something Gwen had been completely oblivious to. 

“Do you think if we copied it straight from the textbook he’d even notice?” Gwen asked.

“Considering you’re on a chapter about the Canadian confederation and the report is on World War II, probably” Gwen snickered, but Courtney barely looked away from the book. She had to keep her dignity, she had to hate Gwen.

“Yeah but Mr. Parker doesn’t have the best eyesight. We smudge a few words and maybe he’ll give it a B.”

“I’m not interested in getting B’s.” She turned the page, pressing the pen harder as she compiled the notes. 

“Okay, a C then” 

Courtney couldn’t help but laugh. As much as she hated it, Gwen was funny. Maybe this whole thing wouldn’t be too agonizing.

With the ice a little thinner, the project flew by. She already had it planned out, of course, but Gwen did make some nice additions. As the hours flew by, laughter was much more present than work. Neither of them seemed to mind.

“Your house is so quiet.” Gwen pointed out, noting the stillness of the surrounding rooms. 

“I guess so.” Courtney quickly ducked her head downward, she had really hoped Gwen wouldn’t notice that.

“I mean it’s almost nine. Shouldn’t your parents be home or something?” It was meant to sound like a joke, yet she couldn’t deny the hint of worry.

“Oh, no. They don’t come home.” The words slipped out of her mouth, “I mean, they’re away on business so it’s okay.” Courtney wished she could escape this moment. She felt her protective shield slowly slipping away.

“Wow, I’m so sorry. Are they away a lot?”

“I’m used to it, It’s nothing I can’t handle.” There was no denying the tears forming in her eyes. 

She barely had time to wipe them away as Gwen reached over, pulling her into a tight hug. Courtney felt her face turn red. She had to hate this, she had to hate her. Not knowing her made that so easy, but now? How could someone who cared so much about someone she barely knew be anything but angelic? There was no way she could keep blaming Gwen, that was clear. Yet, a small part of her still yearned to go back to before. Before Gwen existed, when Duncan was hers and hers alone. 

**_You gave her your sweater_**

**_It’s just polyester, but you like her better_ **

Courtney still tried to avoid the couple, though in less ways than before. As summer quickly approached, the group decided to go to the drive-ins to catch a movie they all wanted to see. As usual, they all brought camping chairs and blankets to huddle outside of the cars. They’d always discuss what was happening in the movie, just quiet enough to not disturb others. Gwen sat on Duncan’s lap. His hands fiddling with her hair, her occasionally feeding him popcorn. 

Courtney tried to ignore them, instead trying to focus on the movie. No luck. She wasn’t sure if it was love or obsession, but it consumed her. He was all she could think about. Risking another glance, the glass was shattered. Duncan took off his sweater and handed it to the goth. The same stupid sweater he lent her on their last perfect night. The sweater that smelt so much like him.

It was just a sweater, just pieces of thread. But it was so much more than that, it was a symbol he was Gwen’s. A symbol that Courtney wasn’t his whole world anymore, that someone new had taken the throne. She had to release him and let him be happy. Didn’t they both deserve that? 

_**Wish I were Heather** _


End file.
